Focus On What You Can Control

change mindset Oct 11, 2022

We all have turbulence in our life where things do not go according to plan.  We make the decision on what to dwell on: the things we can control or those we cannot control.  If you focus on the things you cannot control, then there will be no progress.  You'll continue to be stuck in the mud getting mad and pointing fingers, but if you focus on what you can control, then you can get out of the mud.

If you're a high school student and you're struggling, you have a few options.  You can focus on the fact that your parents aren't there to help you or that they dropped out of high school, so you'll end up just like them.  Or, you can focus on your study habits or finding a tutor.  One of these will leave you right where you are, while the other one will lead you to change.


Example #1

It's the same thing after high school.  Some people have to work two jobs in order to go to college because they don't have any scholarships, their parents are broke and they're broke.  You can point your finger at your parents, at your bosses, at your genetics, but if that finger doesn't point back at you, then you will not see the change that you want.  

What can you control in that situation?  You could apply to every school out there, every scholarship opportunity.  Will it be easy?  Absolutely not, but it will be worth it!  If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.

In this situation, it seems like that person is working hard because I said "they have 2 jobs", but what you don't realize is that those 2 jobs could be minimum wage.  There is more effort inside of the people who work 2 jobs.  They understand they need to work hard, but there's other ways to put forth effort.  When there's free time, send in those applications, apply for scholarships, look for better jobs, look for internships, find a side hustle.  You can make the change and not focus on what you cannot control.

It is so easy to sit there and think that things will never get better, that you are meant to fail or even meant to be average.  But, is that the life we want to live?  

We want to live a fulfilled life.  As a parent, we don’t want our children to have to endure the same challenges and difficulties that we did.  If we start working on our mindset now, we our guaranteeing an improved life for ourselves and our family,


Example #2

As a parent of three young children,  challenges arise every single day.  Sometimes we’re stressed from work and we come home and the house is a mess, leading you to have to do even more work when you just want to relax.  

What can you control in this situation?

You can control your emotions and how you react to the situation.  You can control how you interact with your children, (remember your young children will mirror your actions).  You can set up a responsibility chart for your children so they know when to clean up.

What can’t you control?

You can’t control what your children did when you were at work.  You can’t control the stressful events that happened at work.  

If you focus on what you can control, the challenge seems much easier to handle. 

Basic things you can control in life: your actions, effort, energy, emotions, health and skillset.

Things you cannot control: how much time is in a day, other people’s emotions, other people’s actions.

What challenge or obstacle are you facing?  What can you control and not control in these situations?


Thank you for reading.  Don't forget to motivate yourself, elevate your mind and inspire others.

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